Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's rum buckets o'clock
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
