I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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