i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Even my vagina gasped.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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