i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
