I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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