I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
