There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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