i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
