Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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