Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
