I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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