id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
