So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
