When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
