would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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