bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
