Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
