"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
