I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
