Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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