Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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