I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just google imaged poop.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
