do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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