i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
