I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
