worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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