Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
