My boss' voice literally gives me gas
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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