And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
