buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
