No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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