I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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