do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize