the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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