You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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