we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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