Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
