We won't sleep together?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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