I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
