rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
