I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
