If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
