The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
