so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
