SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
