I need help removing her.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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