Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
