I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
