also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
