He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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