We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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