She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
