i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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