I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
