when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
