He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
