Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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