That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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