JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
