Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
