So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
