go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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